My hope has fallen down

I'v always dreamed that you will come back..
I'v prayed...
But it didn't exactly happened..
I still remembered PERFECTLY when you walked away..
I gave you my most precious thing then...
The image is still so damn clear in my mind..
I cried...
I asked if you could stay..
But you just smiled and answered me that you'll be back..
In the end,you don't..
I don't blame you and I certainly don't hate you..
It's just that...maybe I was dissapointed..
For having a hope so high up...and then fall down again..
Those feelings...are still in my heart eventhough it's been so long..
I can still cry thinking about it...
It's been what? 7years?
But I can still remember every detail...
When you didn't come to celebrate with us on your birthday..
When he beats you up and then helped you to put on medicine on your wounds..
When I went to your house with him..
I can remember it all so clearly..
Why?
Isn't forgetting the best way to do?
But why do I remember all this?
I missed you....
Imiss it when we were all together...
I really do..
But I dare not to tell you..
Because I'm afraid that you would blame yourself..
Sigh....
But I'v learned something..
That is..
" Don't get your hopes too high on anything...Cause it might fall down deeper then you thought it would...And by then, dissapointments will surround you.."